Massive Thought Update (a Thoughtdate :P)

It's rare these days that I feel the urge to really blog. I build up a gigantic list in my head of all the things I want to blog about but so many things get in the way. Either I'm too busy, I don't feel like it (even when I do have free time), etc.
Anyways, I felt the urge tonight so I'm grabbing hold of this feeling while it lasts. Bear with me as it's been awhile and the thoughts may have nothing to do with each other :P.

1) Thoughts about Europe:

- While in Amsterdam, my mom and I took a Red Light District tour (1hr 30min tour). It was an eye opener and it was one of the major reasons I wanted to come to Amsterdam. My mom surprised me in her capacity to be open to seeing these things. She continues to be more open and liberal than I, in many ways. Anyways, I came away with many thoughts but I shall only write about one. Legalized prostitution in Amsterdam seems, on the surface, like a good idea. These women have their rights, they pay taxes, they dictate how much time and with whom, etc. But the longer the tour went on, the more I realized how much sex had become just that. Sex. There was nothing "human" about the act anymore. I don't think you could get any one to call what happens in those brothels and windows as "making love". What God had created as beautiful, miraculous, passionate, loving, etc. had now become devoid of it all the goodness that came with it. It was devoid of passion (well, devoid of deep passion. Shallow passion, sure, you could say that they had that), devoid of love, devoid of any beauty, devoid of the miraculous. Instead, it had become a commodity. An object. Something that people even laughed at, ridiculed, and criticized. And when sex becomes devoid of the "humanity" and Christ-likeness, it is no longer satisfying. Then comes the need to "spice" up your sex life. Add things to it. Make it better. Because what they have is not enough. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting to change it up after marriage and such, but I'm sure the motivation and attitude behind the desire to do so is completely different in that situation. And so, at the end of the Red Light District Tour, instead of envying Amsterdam (as I'm sure many people do), I felt a deep sadness for it. Because (this may seem harsh but I believe it) when humans have sex devoid of God, we put ourselves on the same level as animals. It is love (which comes from God) and having a soul & spirit (a connection on the spiritual level) that differentiates us from animals. Animals do experience love and show love to some degree but they don't know what it is or know it as God has allowed us to do so. So when we disconnect ourselves and our actions from our human emotions and from our Creator, we are no different than animals.

- We also went to nearby Haarlem, about a 15 min train ride from Amsterdam. Corrie Ten Boom's house was there and it was really really cool to see the Ten Boom house and listen to their story. Having read "The Hiding Place" since I was a little girl, it was nice to actually get to see it. And there are 2 thoughts that I came away with. Corrie was the only survivor of her family after WWII. Afterwards, God called her to spread the news and message of forgiveness and love all around the world. She was a single woman for her entire life. And as I realized this, Paul's writings about his preference for the single life came to mind (I Cor 7:7-8, 25-40). With Corrie Ten Boom's example in front of me, it helped me to further understand why Paul would write things like, "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you this", etc.
The other thought was this: It struck me how much the Ten Booms' lives reflected Christ. And because of that, their lives and story, reminded me very much of the people in the Bible. And in a day and age where people cry out for relevancy, churches are challenged with making the gospel, the bible, God and Jesus Christ more relevant. Yes, we need to apply the bible to our lives but to me, that's kind of dangerous. When you put it that way, it's sounds more like molding the bible to what we do. Anybody can make the bible applicable to anything! Hearing the Ten Booms testimonies, I realized that at some point, the life we live becomes relevant to the bible. They basically lived out the Bible. We don't even have to search for a way to make the bible applicable to our lives. It is, because we're living it. The things we experience, the things we say, the things we do, it's already in the Word.
Something so simple, blew me away when I realized it.

- Last thought about Europe: My mother is one of the most hopeful, optimistic, and joyful person I know. And I know that comes from her strong faith. I'm exactly opposite. On this trip, I saw that I was exactly opposite. It's planted in me a desire to change my attitude towards the way I approach life (which for the most part, means my approach towards my life in Memphis), approach people, and approach God. I've enacted a few changes at the beginning of this school year already. For example, I'm doing a 1 yr prayer book that my mother gave me. The book is called (roughly translated, by me, from the chinese title. The book's in Chinese): Praying the blessings and joys of a single life. It's 1 prayer a week (with verses to meditate on). This is my first week and I really enjoy it already. I can feel already that this will be a good thing for my attitude towards thing :). And already, in this first week of school, I have SO many things to thank God for. School has changed lots for me already but I still need to give it up to Him every single morning. My hub verse for this season: Phil 4:4-8.

2) Random stuff

- I'm excited that the 2 books that I've wanted to read REALLY REALLY badly have come in today: The Shack by WM. Paul Young and Red Moon Rising by Pete Greig and Dave Roberts. I hope I'll get to them sometime this year :P

- Sometimes I think I have social anxiety. Sometimes, my whole being wants to retreat like a submarine commander giving the command to "Dive! Dive!"
Ah but that is another attitude change I am working on.

- When I was applying to college for undergrad, I applied to 13 schools. Out of those 13, 6 of them had programs that allowed you to directly go from undergrad into med school. These are programs that are VERY difficult to get into and very competitive (Case was one of them. I didn't get into the program and got deferred into their regular program). And now that I think back on it, EVEN THEN, God was pushing me towards med school. He allowed me to get into 1 of those programs (1 out of 6). There were 3 finalists (out of thousands of applicants) for the program at University of Missouri-Kansas City. There was an interview for each finalist and only 1 spot. I got that spot. And I turned it down. Shockers of shockers (I truly think I shocked that school!). As I think back on it, I'm glad though that I took the path that I did. It was just really cool to look back and realize that my past made sense. That I had so many signs even then but it took hind sight to make all of it make sense. I guess when you're exactly where God wants you to be, everything just makes sense. It's nice. I appreciate what God's doing in me, through me, and I appreciate where I'm going. Thanks God :)

- I've learned a lot about being a worship/praise leader in the past year or so and it's weird. I don't know how I'm picking it up but I am. No seminars, nothing really...just observation, God's Word, and absorption. God's teaching me things. We'll see where He goes with this.

I think that's it. If there's more, well, that's too bad. I'm tired now :). It should be enough for the month ;)