Stress, Life, and God

It's been tough this week. I won't deny that. With the final and national test date for EMT drawing nearer...and with finals for everybody else (which means everybody else has less time to keep in touch or talk)...between Eric and I's schedules, we don't have time to talk, write, or even email
which, on a small side note, as much as I really hate to admit it to myself or to other people, it affects me a lot...more than I would like it to...plus, I really think I suck at long distance relationships/friendships. I think I clam up way too easily. I think my natural instinct is if I don't have anyone to talk to, I immediately just pent it all up inside. And I let it get the better of me...and then I get stubborn and don't share...What an immature thing to do...
Anyways, let's see...what else...christmas and church stuff going on...work...stuff with my mom about my future affecting me earlier this week...
It's times like this that I really feel the consequences of the lack of fellowship...It's hard to find things to do that help me to relax, to see the big picture, to focus on others and to have joy...
The only thing that has been giving me some emotional and mental relief has been God's Word. I kept it with me all throughout my 10 hour shift on the ambulance yesterday and I wish I could keep it with me for my 8 hour shift tomorrow in the ER.
I keep on reading Psalm 19 over and over...
The first 6 verses are all about the wonders of nature which gives me such peace and tranquility. I'm filled with awe and my spirit calms down when I read those verses...
Verses 7-11 talk about God's Word...and I hold onto what it says in those verses for dear life. It reminds me of the power of God and His Word...reminds me of who God is...and that is only thing that sustains me right now...
Verses 12-14 allow me to reflect on myself in a healthy and godly way. Not allowing myself to listen to Satan's lies or twisting words.....

"The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul...
keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me...
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer"