So I just got back from a whirlwind tour of the south of Taiwan. Details and pictures are on my facebook page so it'll save you from reading long boring posts. You can ask me for more details and stuff later if you would like.
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My trip this past week provoked many many thoughts and I will be making it into a series of posts (although, they probably won't be related to each other).
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When I was in a relationship, many issues came to my attention that I had never considered before. They were issues that (young) single people tend to never think about...at least, that was the case for me. One of these issues/questions that demanded my opinion was the issue of how I would raise my children. Would I be a mom that would be willing to stay at home and raise my children? Or would I be a mother that would juggle a full-time job/career along with kids? My own mother stayed at home, didn't work, and raised me until I was 4. Then she found a full-time job as a lab technician for a couple of years till my dad finished med school. She was the only breadwinner, so to speak, for the years my dad was in med school (the story of how God provided the job and the money is amazing =) ).
Recently, I've been experiencing a lot of things that have led me to have a very very firm opinion on the issue I have mentioned above. I will elaborate.
While in Taiwan, I have been living with my 3rd uncle's family. He and his wife have 2 children (one is 12 years younger than me and the other is 18 years younger than me). I am not saying that all families are necessarily like this or anything...and I do have to say that their example is a bit extreme.
The way they raise children is the way that you would take care of a dog. What I mean by that is they feed their kids, they clothe them, they take them to school. They do everything for their children in providing for their basic needs. But here are my other observations: The tv is always on. There are 3 tvs (technically 4) in this 1 floor small apt. The first thing anyone who is part of the family does when they walk into the apt is to turn on the tv. The oldest kid's grades are bad and I've only seen him practice piano once since I've been here (and I've been here for a very long time). The oldest also has attention-seeking behavior (which shows that he is severely lacking in proper love and care). Neither of the kids have manners. They don't greet adults in the morning and they also leave everything out on the table after they've finished eating (they don't clean up after themselves). And the list can go on.
So the conclusion that I drew was this: It's easy to have kids. It is not easy raise them.
To raise children to be good, responsible, adults so that they themselves can lead successful lives, now THAT is difficult. Providing for their basic fleshly needs is not enough. Taking care of a dog is not how you take care of a child. Raising a child takes time. It takes patience. It takes discipline. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears on behalf of the parents. Raising children starts once they are born. Some parents will say, "Oh, they'll learn that once they grow up and get out into the world. I don't have to teach them that". That can be true for some things. But what if they don't even have a good foundation on which they can build? Lessons in life build upon previous lessons. I am so deeply indebted to my mom for giving me such a great foundation for life. I know for sure, I will be able to survive in this world because she has equipped me for it. Though I will make mistakes and fall, but my foundation will always be strong.
So this draws me to the end of this entry: I will be a mom that will stay at home to raise my kids, not working (if I have to, I will work part-time at the most). I will give my kids the foundation that they need most. I will follow God's command given in Gen. 1:28a (see my next journal entry).
I don't think you were quite saying this, but it sort of sounded like Gen 1:28 (bring fruitful and multiplying) implies that one must be a stay at home mom.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it's easy now, as a single 20-something to think that this is how things are going to be done when you have children. It's hard to have a lot of children, job or not. I come from a large family and I've seen how it's affected us. What if your husband wants you to work? What if God's called you to a special vocation? What if God's provision is through you, working a job?
I think my mother's plan was to stay at home, but there are a bazillion things that will influence the decision to stay at home or not and we really can't understand them until we cross that bridge. That's not to say that it can't be our desire, but we just need to be in an open posture about God's desire for our lives and the raising of our children.
I do fully 100% agree though, that raising children is a high calling with great responsibility. A great, great responsibility that I wish more people would take seriously.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I'm not saying I'm going to have a bajillion kids lol. My dad wants me to have a football team or a soccer team (jokingly of course...at least I hope =P). I am NOT. I think 3 would be a nice number. And I am considering adoption.
ReplyDeleteNor am I saying that one must be a stay at home mom. Like I said, at the very end, if I must, I will work. I believe that God has called us to raise good, holy families so whether He's called us to a special vocation or job, I believe He will provide a way for people to balance both callings in way that is not a difficult as society makes it out to be.
I also realize that I'm quite idealistic right now because I'm young and 20-something. I really don't know what it feels like and won't know what people face as parents. I do not want to make light of people's struggles that is not my intention at all. And yes, I will know how hard it is when I finally get to that point. However, before this, I didn't even know if I even wanted kids at all! This definitely changed my view point on that. This also changed my viewpoint on how I view my parents and how important a role they play in my life. It made me more grateful and thankful for my parents.