Ramblings of a person in a feverish state

who can't sleep even though it's currently 11:41pm and she gets up at 6:30am. But, my body is fighting disease and I'm awake. So, time to spew all of my miscellaneous thoughts that have been piling up since...oh, since June. They're not in chronological order. Like the title says, it's rambling (and probably can be classified as babblings).

1. DO NOT (unless under extenuating circumstances) disciple or mentor anyone of the opposite sex. Friends are good. Mentoring and discipling is bad. Trust me. There is a fine line between a discipling relationship and a relationship that is now emotionally attached. In an extreme sense, it's like having emotional sex before marriage. Don't do it. You're playing with fire. Why am I writing this? Because I've made many mistakes in the past. Serious ones. And I don't want others to make the same ones. It's biblical btw. I can show verses if you would like.

2. I'm a slow on the uptake kinda person. Sooo, as I lay in bed last night about to sleep, the rhythm of my heart started to accelerate (for no reason) suddenly and began to beat irregularly. For a second, I was struck with pure fear. I had never felt that way before. The thought that flashed through my head was, "I live alone and I have little to no connections (friends, etc) here in Memphis (I'm working on establishing some as I type). If something happens to me and I can't get to my phone, nobody will find out until days later." It went away after a few seconds but those seconds felt like minutes. It was only then I realized why other people don't like living by themselves. I never understood really but now I do. So right then and there, I made a resolution. If I'm not feeling well in the future, I'm going to tell my parents (if I haven't made closer connections) so that they can check up on me to see if I'm still alive later. Hence, today, I did notify my parents. Wow, I'm letting go of my stubbornness and growing up...

3. So a friend asked me around the time in July if I had a list of traits, etc. that I would like my future husband to have. I said yes, I did. He said, "well, they're all positive traits right?" I nodded. Then he said something that has stuck with me ever since. He said, "Did you ever think about the negative side to those positive traits? For instance, if you want a guy that has leadership skills, perhaps you're going to have to deal with impatience or stubbornness." That question and example was revolutionary to me and my thinking. Am I prepared for those negative traits that come with those positive traits? With every positive trait, there is a flip side to it. Am I surprised when that comes out? I was. Now, I'm not. I see this rule applicable in myself as well. It goes along with the statement, "Your strengths are also your weaknesses."

4. Everyone (or almost everyone) should know the joke/story about how this guy is stuck in a flood and a boat, a helicopter, and a (something else, I forget) go by and offers to save him, but he responds with a no, my God will save me. And then he ends up drowning and goes to heaven...etc. Do you guys know what story I'm talking about? Well anyways, I've heard that story used to support the saying, "God helps those who help themselves." Firstly, that never sat well with me. That saying nor the story that supported it. If God only helped those who helped themselves, then why would we need God in the first place if we could just help ourselves? Furthermore, since we can't help ourselves, then if God was a God like that, then He would end up helping no one. But I had a revelation today about that story. I think the actual point of that story is that Christians can actually enjoy the universal blessings that God bestows on the world. He/she doesn't have to wait for a blessing specifically from God with their name on it. Universal blessings are blessings too and are meant to be enjoyed by His children as well. Ignoring that would be the same as ignoring a personalized blessing. Now THAT I can agree with.

5. I'm actually REALLY enjoying my classes in med school (even though my life has become go to class, eat, study, sleep and repeat). All my classes connect (histophysiology, molecular basis of disease, and gross anatomy (w/some embryology here and there) for me for the first time in my life. For example, I see that what I am learning in MBOD connects to phys and to anatomy and I see their overall purpose in the big scheme of things. It's amazing! Oh and for each lecture, the lecturers always have a list of objectives and goals for that lecture. Man, I wish all my undergrad science classes did that. It would have helped me to organize all the information a bit better AND be able to see what the professor wanted me to actually learn instead of just throwing all this information on slides at me and seeing how much I retain. If I have no way of connecting it to anything else, it's going in the short term memory bank.

6. God connected me with my first kindred soul on Sunday. I met the president (an M2) of the CMDA chapter here at UT-Memphis at the church (First Evan) that I attend (and will attend) regularly now. He's been going there for a year. First, I need to say that the CMDA chapter here is pret-ty radical. People who are ready to die for Jesus. People who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty and move into the ghetto and be Christ to the poor, the weak, and the oppressed. Now THOSE are the types of Christians I want to stand next to and associate with. Those were the types of Christians that I was praying for so that I could partner with them (or they could partner with me) and we could both advance the Kingdom in power. So yeah, God is awesome for answering my prayers. Anyways, back to my story. The guy's name is Chris Adkins. He's an M2 and he was born in Bangladesh while his parents were in the mission field. Cool huh? I hadn't really met anybody I really felt like I connected with yet until I met Chris on Sunday. FINALLY. Someone who has that fire for God and is my age AND is in med school! Woo!
Note: btw, I'm not talking about him in a relationship/romantic sense at all. "kindred soul" means that he knows what I'm about and I know what he's about. Also, that possibility didn't even cross my mind. That alone should be enough justification for you guys...I haven't even mentioned that he has a girlfriend already. So get your minds out of the relationship gutter please. Thank you.

7. As of now, I have a possible 4 weddings to attend next summer/next year. I'm tempted to send an email out to all my friends saying: If it's a possibility, please get married next summer/next year. Apparently, it's the season to get married and maybe I'll be able to save travel expenses if all of you guys get married next year.
I'm joking of course.

Alright, I think that's all the spewing I will do...Time to make another attempt at sleep. Good night.