ROFL - For those who want a good laugh

Christian pickup lines or how NOT to ask a Christian girl out (these are just some of the ones out there. Most of them aren't that funny. These were the ones I either thought were clever, cheesily funny, or just plain hilarious =D. Enjoy!!):

- Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
- Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
- Do you believe in Divine appointment?
- Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn. Therefore, I am under God’s mandate to marry you.
- You may not have chosen me, but I have chosen you.
- Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.
- During communion say, “Can I get you another drink.”
- The Bible says that God is not concerned with outer appearance . . . neither should you.
- The Good Book said that I might be visited by angels unaware, but something must be wrong with my interpretation, because I am perfectly aware of you.
- You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.
- Hi, my name's Will...God's Will
- [check the person's shirt tag] "just as i thought... made in heaven."
- No, I'm not coveting, I intend to make you mine.
- I'm missing a rib, and I think you're it.
- I think you're a part of my Purpose Driven Life
- Now I know why Solomon has 700 wives, because he never met you
- the word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; how about dinner?
- i didn't believe in predestination until tonight.
- i can be your Boaz.
- my spiritual gift is my good looks… it lifts peoples spirits
- did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?
- i used to believe in natural theology, but since i met you i’ve converted to divine revelation
- how many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
- i’m a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you’re a proverbs 31 kinda woman…
- if we were around with noah… then you, me… pair.
- Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.
- Hi, I'm Calvin. You were meant to choose me.
- you are a Galatians 5 fruit salad.

Pickup lines from biblical characters:

Lazarus: "I came back from the dead just to have this conversation with you."
Abraham: "You're beautiful. You could pass for my sister. And trust me - that's a compliment."
The apostle John: "I've seen the end of the world, and it ends with me and you together."
Paul: "I wrote the book on love. Well, actually, it's more like a chapter, but you get the idea."
Judas: Want a kiss?


If he's not Christian - ways to turn him down:

1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")

7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."

10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.