"Jessica"

means "grace of God"
Prov 22:1 - "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."
Ecc 7:1 - "A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth."

I used to dislike my name. It was too popular. It was rather plain and boring. It was hard to make my signature look pretty. Shallow and superficial, really. However, my mom revealed to me when I was quite young that I was named "Jessica" for a reason. Because it meant, "grace of God". You see, my parents didn't plan to have me. I was a surprise but my parents kept me and named me "grace of God" because to them, this child was God's grace to them.

Though I don't remember when my mom told me that story, I do remember that growing up, I knew why I was named "Jessica". My identity was always known to me. But the full weight of the name and the story behind the name didn't really start to impact my life until the past 2 years. You might say that I didn't "grow" into my name until these past 2 years.

Why these past 2 years? Because I have only begun to realize how much my life has been impacted by God's grace recently and how my whole life has been under the direction of his grace and it has all come together for me.
- I wanted to start over with online journaling and named my blog, "Only Grace". I don't remember why I named it that but I did. And I keep on referring to it over and over again in many of my posts on this blog. And with my name, it takes on another meaning on a whole different level.
- my testimony about how I got to med school and God's grace to me throughout the past 2 years in that process
- recently realizing God's grace to me in my past: through saving me early, through protecting me through my stormy years of middle school and high school, through molding and transforming me in college. It's ALL grace.
- God's grace to me in blessing me with wonderful, godly family and friends.

My life, my name, is a testimony to God's grace. By God's grace, I was born (my parents could have had an abortion since I wasn't planned). By God's grace to my parents, I was an obedient child that stayed true to the Word. By God's grace to me, He saved me early and put me in a Christian home where I could be loved, supported, and could flourish. By God's grace, I look back and everywhere I look, I see the hand of God. By God's grace, HE named me, "grace".

Judah means "praise" (Gen 29:35). And as I've been reading through the OT, I've realized the importance of a name in the bible. God's name, the verses I quoted above, Judah, David, Peter, Paul, Jesus etc. God named them and their lives lived up to that name. It was their identity in Christ and the name signified God's plan for their life. And that is an important point that I have realized recently. My life is and will continue to be a reflection of God's grace and is a reflection of what God plans to do in my life and through me, in the lives of others.

I am so very unworthy of this name that God has given me.
Yet, He has named me and I cannot do anything but receive it with humility, awe, thanksgiving, and worship.
His name for me has given me strength and has made me love Him even more.
My life keeps on coming back to grace. My name has become a living reminder for me (and I hope, by God's grace, a reminder for others).