Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm a chronic people-pleaser (sorry to semi-copy you, Sheila).
My whole life, I've strived to please everyone...my friends, my parents, my teachers, etc...even myself. And up until this point, I thought I was semi-successful with that. Until today. I realized today that I wasn't successful at all...that all I've gotten in return for pleasing people and pleasing myself is a bunch of disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness and rejection. As I look back, I realize I have nothing to show for this lifestyle of people-pleasing and self-pleasing...I've even disappointed myself so many times that lots of times in my life, I've hated myself...
And today, I am completely broken. I realize that if I am to even have life at all, let alone a meaningful life, I have to be a God-pleaser. Period.
I can totally relate.. It's just not do-able. It always leads to disappointment and it forces you to split your personality to accommodate to others.. It can make us dishonest with others and ultimately ourselves...
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking lately, "Who am I when I don't worry about a single person being offended? How do I help others in the best way I can, without worrying about making anyone unhappy?"
You are covered enough by Christ so that, in the long run, you can make a positive difference in others' lives even if you upset some people along the way.
It's such a struggle- it's a lifestyle we create in our minds, whether or not we're successful in it. But you can push past it and gain victory over it, just like anything else.
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Wow I can say that it seems that you Sheila, and Laura are going through the same thing right now. It is truly difficult to find your value and worth only in God and not to please man and when God allows you to see that it's like a ticking time bomb. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and no matter how much people might think the opposite, the desire to please others is very tempting. Yet I know that the Lord will draw you closer to him and the closer you get the hotter the fire becomes and the desire to please man will began to burn off. Jess I will be praying for you and I love you. I wish you all the best on your mission trip and may the Lord open your eyes and heart to see the beauty of his glory and love.
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