This is an edited version of my talk this past Sunday. I personally don't think it is very organized (I have room to grow in learning how to publicly coherently teach). It is my suggestion that you have a bible close at hand when you read this...there are quite a lot of verses that I will not be typing out for the sake of length. Oh and also a disclaimer for the people who know God has called them to singleness for the rest of their life: I do not write this talk to say that you MUST get married or anything. Singles are blessed and gifted in a totally different way. This talk does not necessarily talk about men and women in the context of marriage. This is talking about men and women's relationship in the larger context of the body of Christ. Hopefully, it will be a blessing to whoever reads this...
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The topic that God has laid on my heart for the past couple of weeks is a very personal one. It is the brokenness of today’s women. Now before all the men tune out and stop paying attention, let me say this in the very beginning. I do not wish this to become a male/guy-bashing talk. In fact, the more I studied the Word, the more it was impressed upon me that the restoration of women will also lead to the restoration of men. The continued brokenness of women will also lead to the continued brokenness of men. One affects the other. So for all the men out there, this is then something worth paying attention to.
There is immense brokenness amongst ALL women (Christian and non-Christian) today. We see it every day and everywhere in the world. Broken marriages, sexual abuse, abandonment, etc. result in emotions that are exhibited like anger, bitterness, low self-esteem, independence, depression, anxiety, loneliness, lack of satisfaction and fulfillment, lack of purpose, a desire for love, rejection, and confusion. We do not know what our roles are in the home, in church, and at work.
So with such huge problems where do we start? Society has tried to fix this problem of the gender gap for years. The main panacea being women’s rights. Women have a right to be equal with men. Women have a right to vote. Women have a right to get paid just as much, to get any job they want, to have an abortion, etc. I’m not saying those things are bad or wrong. But we have to ask ourselves WHY we chase after these things. WHY are we so persistent in demanding these “rights”? It’s because we’re not satisfied with the way things are and we want to fix this gap we see between the genders. This is the world’s solution: More rights need to be granted. However, I ask you guys to look around you. Has that gap been bridged? Has there been reconciliation between the genders? Brothers and sisters, perhaps it’s not an issue of rights. Perhaps it’s a problem of the heart. A problem of values and the way we view each other as men and women. Rights (and subsequently, the law) can force a person to do something they should do, but it can’t force a person to change their heart. Only God can do that.
So let us turn to His Word. God has already revealed to us everything through His Word. I firmly believe that His Word is the answer to all of life’s questions and it alone can change hearts, attitudes, and people.
So let’s go back to the beginning. In the Garden and right after the Fall. Because that’s where the problem begins.
Pre-brokenness
Gen. 1:24-31 describes what God created on the 6th day. On the 6th day He created the animals on the land and human beings.
v. 27 – So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
In these verses, we see that God created human beings in his own image and in order to fully reflect His image, he created male AND female. So an important thing to see here is that male AND female are required to fully reflect the image of God.
Gen 2:4-25 is a more detailed account of the 6th day of creation. We see that God created man first, then the animals, brought them to Adam to be named, and then he created woman. Seemingly not a lot in this chapter but actually, if you read closely, this is a very important chapter.
A couple of important points (to note for our purposes):
I. God notes the incompleteness of man when he is alone (v.18).
The key words in that verse are: “not good” and “suitable”.
So in Gen 2:18, “not good” means incompleteness. Why did God say that? Because, in actuality, Adam wasn’t totally alone because by now, God had created the animals and you see in v.19-20 that Adam names ALL of them. Adam is not alone but there is something missing. God voices it in v.18 but He waits until Adam realizes it as well (after searching through ALL the animals) in v.20 – “But for Adam, no suitable helper was found.” Once again, that word “suitable.” Animals can be helpers too you know! But that word, “suitable” makes them not very good helpers to Adam. There is a specific kind of help and support that Adam realizes that he needs after he has seen all the animals.
So then, God causes Adam to fall into a deep sleep and creates woman.
II. Gen 1:31 – God saw all that he had made and it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning—the sixth day.
He didn’t just say “very good” just to follow the pattern that he set with all the other days. We think of very good nowadays as signifying eh, it’s ok. But from God, these two words mean like magnificent, perfect, marvelous, fantastic, awesome, etc! All the other days of creation He only said that it was good! He actually didn’t even say good at the end of the 2nd day of creation. So this “very good” isn't just an arbitrary comment! It's very significant! At the very end of the day, the peak of creation was the creation of both man and woman and their unity (on all levels - mind, soul, spirit, flesh) together which is marriage – as husband and wife. This is the first marriage in the bible. They are mutual helpers for each other. On an equal level in value and God saw that it was very good.
So that was God’s plan. Women and men, working side by side, partnering and doing the work of God. In unity and accepting each other as they are. Neither is greater than the other.
So what happened after sin entered? Here are the consequences (for women) of sin: 2 major broken relationships
1) The woman's broken relationship with herself
Gen. 3:16a – We see that God has caused the woman to have pain with her body. This pain is not only on a physical level but also on an emotional level as well. Human beings are made up of flesh and spirit (the part that is of the mind, heart, soul, etc...the part that is abstract). They are interconnected (because they are all part of one body) so pain in one area will affect the other. From Genesis and on, sisters, we struggle with our bodies and ourselves. We have emotional pain as well as physical pain. However, one very important thing to note is that this pain is not a curse. God cursed the serpent and cursed the ground but he did not curse the man or the woman. So what we experience is not a curse though Satan would like us to live like it is! It is a natural consequence of sin, NOT a curse.
2) The woman's broken relationship with man
Gen 3:16b – (the last half of the verse) - Women lost their place beside men and became placed under men. We, women, lost our dignity and our position beside man as his partner and helper and a gap was formed between men and women. Once again, this was not a curse. It is a natural consequence of sin.
So what does the bible say about restoration? Yes there is hope! There is restoration! And that hope and answer is Jesus Christ. His death and resurrection has set us free from the consequences of sin (that which is pain, brokenness, death, fear, etc.) - Col 1:17, 20-23.
This is how this God-given gift of restoration plays out for the 2 major areas of brokenness:
1)The restoration between woman and herself - This is a project in progress on many levels. Jesus' death on the cross and his resurrection provides for us partial restoration in this area. What I mean by that is we still experience pain in our physical bodies (both men and women do...but women especially regarding child birth). However, Jesus provides healing and restoration on the spiritual side (that includes the emotional, the mind, the soul, the spirit, the heart, etc.). We must take into consideration that even though this is only a partial restoration, a healing in our spirit will definitely (because our physical body is in contact with the spiritual body) also spill over and affect the physical body as well. How does he provide healing? By bridging that gap inside us with himself (His Spirit to be exact)...providing for us understanding about our emotions and how to handle them correctly, how to use them to glorify and experience Him even more. It is the most freeing thing to know that somebody understands us, knows us better than we know ourselves, and not only that, but is willing to help us to accept ourselves and in doing so, accept and know Him. He has given us intrinsic value and dignity by adopting us as daughters, calling us beautiful and worthy for him to die for.
2) The restoration between women and men: This too is an ongoing process. And the ironic thing is that God has chosen to use men as a tool to help restore women to their rightful place. Why do you guys have to help? Well, 1)It’s just like if two people were climbing a cliff and one gets to the top first, which would be faster and easier: for the person to continue to climb up without the other person helping them, or for the person who gets there first to pull while the other person climbs? Men are on top right now. It would be easier and faster if men helped women to get on top as well, than if women tried to do it themselves. 2) Men also had a role to play in the Garden regarding women though it is not as obvious at a glance. A woman's role is defined as helper (though what kind of helper and what things she should do is another talk altogether) but God's plan was for man and woman to work together helping each other. Both are incomplete without the other. So here are the men's roles towards women (that will help to restore women to their rightful place beside you).
3 things
a. Teach her
b. Provide for her
c. Protect her
Adam failed to instruct Eve – Gen 3:3 – and he did nothing to correct her when she was being deceived even though he was with her (v.6). Of course correction and teaching need to be done with patience and not hastiness. Teaching can come in many ways, by example, not just words or lecturing. There is time for an example, and a time for words. Words of honey are better than vinegar. Patience will calm a quarrel (Prov 15:18). And teaching can mean many things. But I think Pastor Ed Silvoso said it best:
“Your wife is your suitable help, your indispensable complement. So make her look better, feel better, understand better” – Pastor Ed Silvoso
If you teach her, then you will be able to trust her and begin to even understand her - Prov. 31:11. Many men think it is impossible to understand women. If they truly believe that from the get-go, then the result is that they don't put in any effort to understand women, which is one of the Devil's great schemes to keep women down. For you cannot appreciate women if you do not understand them. It may be hard sometimes but do not give up. For Christ never gave up on us (individually) nor the Church. That is love.
Provide for her and protect her. Adam also failed in this area in the garden during the temptation. He left Eve to face the devil alone. Women cannot stand up to the devil alone. Neither can men. They must do it together, each fulfilling their own roles. It’s not, she does her thing and you do yours. Love her because she is created from your body. Eve was (literally) created from Adam’s rib.
Eph 5:28-29 – In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, people have never hated their own bodies, but they feed and care for them, just as Christ does for the church.
Though she may be more emotional than you. Though she may be more talkative than you. Though she may be more lazy than you. Though she may be more messy than you. Though she may be more OCD than you. Honor her. She is just as valuable as you are. If you do not honor her, God will not honor you.
In conclusion: Jesus Christ has removed all barriers so that ALL people can serve him.
Gal 3:28 – There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
No matter what your race, your social status position in society, your gender, your age. There are no barriers to serving God! God does not play favorites nor does he discriminate. He loves all equally, and desires for ALL to love Him back. Nothing can keep you from loving God and expressing that love. In Joel 2:28-29, 32, it says that God will pour out His Spirit on ALL people. Young, old, men, women. All will be saved and ALL will serve for His kingdom.
And in the last days, men and women will both rise up and the devil will not be able to stop them. (Psa 68)
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An end note: To help me with this talk, I read the book "Women: God's secret weapon" by Reverend Ed Silvoso and I would seriously recommend it for both men AND women to read. I heard him speak at one of the conferences I attended this summer. If you want more details, ask me =). I refuse to make this entry even longer lol. I doubt people actually made it this far...
this is good :)
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